michelle ward

blog rewind: it's a wonderful life

As I mentioned, this post is brought you thanks to Seth who is hosting a collaborative event of revisiting old entries.  I chose this post because it stands out as the first time I shared something personal about my family life, and it was most likely the first time I hit double digits in comments.  I really felt a sense of connection and the response I got validated it was ok to share all aspects of life as a wife, parent, daughter, sister, friend, and artist....and that exposing ourselves as real people on our blogs is just as important as expressing ourselves as artists. 

Here it is - probably my wordiest post but this time with bigger photos, and I'm including some related content below the original text (which can be seen with the comments from September 2006 HERE). 

 

Originally posted September 3, 2006

Living with AUTISM is a challenge, but it’s wonderful and rewarding.  Many children with Autism thrive on routine.  They depend on it.  Our son Sam is one of those kids.  He sets his mind on how and when things should happen.  Here’s a story where foiled plans became a dream of a lifetime.

Last year we went to Niagara Falls.  We found out that Marineland, an amusement park with exhibits of many mammals, had Orcas.  Our son Sam has loved Killer Whales since he was about a year old.  I mean, HE LOVES THEM.  The walls in his room are covered in posters, and picture calendars, and we have dozens of Orca toys – plastic, plush, large, small, plus magnets, stickers, pillow cases.  AND did I mention books?  Countless books on whales and dolphins, but mostly Orcas.  Free Willy?  He’s a friend we watch nearly every day.  So off we went to Marineland on Thursday, August 16, 2005.

 

 

 

Once in the park we headed straight for Friendship Cove, home of 4 Orcas.  I can’t tell you how excited we all were to watch Sam’s face as he saw, for the first time in his life, a real Killer Whale.  It was a moment to remember, followed by many more that weekend.  LAST year you could purchase tickets to stand with the trainer to feed and pet an Orca.  Yeah, we all did it – more than once.  After a full day of fun with the family at the park Sam and I returned for a second day – 9 hours just standing at the tanks, watching the whales.  Sam was in heaven.  “Goodbye whales, see you next year”.  From the day we departed Canada Sam started talking about returning on Thursday, August 17, 2006.  If you know a child with Autism, you know that you had to talk about the upcoming trip daily, like 20 times a day.

 

 

 

Fast forward to this past August.  Sam was ready, wearing the same shirt as last year so the whales would recognize him.  His routine was working up until we got to Friendship Cove – no more ticket sales for feeding the whales.  Foiled!  The activity was replaced with a new Splash Show.  Sure, the Splash Show was fantastic, fascinating, but I could see the despair and confusion on my sweet boy’s face.   We stayed for two shows, took lots of photos and video, saw the rest of the park, went on rides, and returned to say good bye to the whales.  Sam and I returned again for a second day.  Didn’t take the video camera as I had enough footage, right?  Bad idea.  So we are there, planted into position as we were last year, to spend the day watching the whales swim around their wide open tanks.  You are literally two feet away from these beautiful mammals.  The Splash Show is every hour and half – so people start filling into the area ten minutes before show time, then disperse twenty minutes later, soaking wet, after the show.  The trainers notice we are there, and still there, and again, still there.  We talk with one of the attendants – he asks Sam about the pile of books he’s carrying.  This young man, Nicholas, bless his heart, cued in that Sam is no ordinary child, and tried to keep him engaged in conversation.  One thing was obvious to Nicholas – Sam ADORES the whales.  THEN, just prior to the next Splash Show, the “host” of the event, Sean, came over to talk with Sam.  I could feel myself leaving my body  - you know that kind of moment you have when something REALLY GOOD is happening and time stands still and you can barely speak and the tears flood down your face.  Sean tells Sam – I could really use a helper for the show.  Do you think you could help me?  WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?  Dear God, THANK YOU.  If I could have felt my legs at that moment I would have dropped to my knees.

 

 

 

The show begins.  Mike and Kendra, the whale trainers, introduce themselves to this hysterical mom, with winks and smiles, KNOWING, knowing.  Sean is at the microphone, introduces Sam Ward from NJ…..and Sam, who has memorized this show, mimics the trainers.  He knew what to do.  He knew the act.  They got such a kick out of it.  Sam was not afraid in the least to be in front of a HUGE crowd.  He directed the whales to do their tricks.  NEVER in my wildest dreams did I ever expect that Sam would have the chance of a lifetime.  All credit goes to Nicholas, who had the insight, and Sean, Mike, and Kendra, who had the hearts, to give this special boy a very special day.  Warm hearted thanks to our Marineland friends.  I know they feel rewarded, because you just get that from our Sam. 

 

 

 

 

Sam stayed behind the barricade with the trainers after the show.  The two whales, mother and daughter, were still floating near the trainer area,  - waiting, watching.  Sam opened his books to show them the Orca pictures.  Page after page.  The whales didn’t swim away.  Sam read to them.  Sam had observed everything they did in their “free time”, and he especially loved when they stuck their tongues out.  So Sam sticks his tongue out at the whales and they mimicked him!  The hour and half between shows flew by and Sam was honorary trainer for one more show. 

 

 

 

Imagine my husband’s reaction when he came to pick us up outside the park at the end of the day!  Thank goodness I had my digital camera and could show him and the kids all the proof that we were the luckiest souls on earth that day.  Of course I wish they had been with us, but if they were, would it have all happened like it did?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  And Thursday, August 16, 2007?  You know where I’ll be!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I uploaded a very short video clip of the event HERE.  In addition to all the heartfelt responses from readers there was a really cool comment that came from Nicholas, who was the catalyst for the dream day.  I also heard from a reader who suggested I send the story to Chicken Soup for the Soul as they had an open call for Special Needs themed tales.  We made it in!!  (with a photo too!)

 

 

 

We went back again to see our friends, the trainers and the whales, at Marineland in 2007 but we haven't been back since.  If I had been on the ball with getting passports we would be going this summer.  They'll be seeing us again, you can be sure of that.  And the memories of our visits will forever reside in our hearts.

 

 

 

Thanks for indulging me in a repost of this story.  To see more revisits by other bloggers check in with Seth.

treasures

First treasure:  getting to spend time with my Grandmother while in MN.  I finally got a photo of her with this triptych, a favorite of mine.  She's had it on her grand table as long as I can remember.  A short time ago I was prowling around ebay trying to find one similar to hers.  Not having a photo of it I went by memory, and I think I did pretty well with my score.  It's much smaller in scale, but it sits on my table now and reminds me of her. 

 

I won't give away her age, but you can gather what it might be since my Dad (her son) turns 71 TODAY.  Happy Birthday Dad.

Another treasure:  Seth, my friend at The Altered Page, launched a viral plan last week - to revisit an old blog post in his adventure called Buried Treasure.  He is inviting participants for round 2 tomorrow.  Isn't that a cool idea?  Visit Seth to see his long list of players from last week and to see who joins in for another go at it.  If you are a blogger why not do it too?  Check back to see my submission in the morning.

 

This got me thinking:  What do you consider a great blog post?  Is it the content?  The attitude?  Some bloggers are wordy, some are visual.  Some are both.  Do you prefer one over the other?  I bet there is a difference in what we consider good depending on whether we are the reader or the writer.  As a blog writer I tend to judge good posts by the number of comments it gets.  You tend to think readers leave feedback when your thoughts or images jive with their own interests.  And while we don't assess our success by comments it does give us a sense of what hits the mark with our audience. 

I have selected a favorite archived post to share with you tomorrow because I know it was one that was a turning point for me personally, giving me confidence in how I blogged, and what was ok to share.  I'm curious....what was the post that made you bookmark me and want to come back? 

See you tomorrow.

before i go....one more reveal

This would be the mother of all reveals, if one were keeping score.  I thought I was going to skulk off into the sky, flying back to Minnesota, carrying with me the cloud of grief, but instead I will be carrying this Book of Love, to share with my family.  How does one go about finding and composing the most apt words to convey how you have made me feel?  You obviously know me well enough to know I am utterly moved.  Picture me surrounded with rays of light, casting a pink glow.  Both eyes filled with tears.  One for sorrow, one for joy.

 

I will let the photos do the talking.  Special thanks to Secret Agents JeriAnn, Julie, and Lisa who schemed and plotted and gathered a generous, thoughtful, loving, talented team of participants.  I thank you all for the quiet, gentle embrace.  I feel you.

 

 

 

  

Julie has loaded the pages onto flickr, you can visit HERE.

 

I know, can you imagine?  I'm blown away too. 

I am missing Shannon so much, but look how many art-sisters I have (plus an art-brother, Seth).  A swarm of angels.  I've said it before: You make grief endurable.  With humble gratitude, Michelle.

the kellys were here

Our annual family gathering usually takes place in Minnesota.  This year they all came to Jersey.  It was the first time my brother brought his family here so we gave them the city tour (x2) and didn't let the rain stop us. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We missed having Andy here this time, but we felt Shannon with us.  Summer is officially here!  Enjoy.

ta-da x 3

 

One leaves high school, and two will enter it.  Three ta-das in one day!  Happy to have my family here from Minnesota to celebrate with us. 

Wishing Graham, my Dad, my brother, my Father-in-Law, and dads everywhere a Happy Fathers Day.

another milestone

 

This kid is going to prom tonight.  In two weeks he'll be graduating.  Where did the time go?  Send positive vibes that the rain stops before our photo session.  More later. 

 

EDIT:  12:30pm....

 

EDIT:  and they are off! 

 

 

bursting

Some days are better than others.  Today is Sam's 17th birthday.  I can't believe it.  Lots of calls from family.  But there won't be one from her, his God-mother.  I sometimes need to listen to sad songs on mornings like this.  Afterall, music is what feelings sound like.  THIS ONE makes me cry.  Everytime.  After listening about 3 or 4 times I latched onto the phrase....and quick went outside for a look at my still-covered garden.  It brought more tears, the happy kind.  A sign.

 

And when I'm in that place, I have to make stuff. 

 

And another page from the WN, because I found the perfect size Ville Valo photo.

 

the bloopers

 

Coal for Sam?  He would NOT look at me and we were frozen, so we gave up.  Peter was such a sport trying to get him to pose properly.  The beret?  It's a wink.   Printed, stamped, sent!

naughty or nice

Don't you feel like preparing for Christmas is an exercise of endurance?  You make list after list, check them twice, and decide if you want to be naughty or nice.  Naughty is relative isn't it?  Spending too much, or not enough, might be naughty.  Endulging in something for yourself might be naughty...or maybe not being good to yourself at this time of year might be get you in trouble.  Breathe, be good.

Here's some nice things that happened since we last spoke....Wednesday night the Room 10 boys performed with the band at the school's holiday show.  They played the drums, and they rocked it.  We were in the last row - best view, but bad for photos.  Still, so nice.

 

I was out shopping with Fallon today, and we scored a pink tree to go with the deer.  Nice.

  

A nice surprise came in the mail today from Ann Marie and the Festival Ballet of Providence (Rhode Island).  They have permission to use my nutcracker image for their merchandise - this year they made black hoodies with a silver print, and she sent me one!  Thanks Ann Marie.  Nice.  When I took this photo I had an a-ha moment.  Sam collects calendars, and that is all he wants for Christmas.  There are about 40 on the walls of his room.  He has a few perpetual calendars - and he loves this nutcracker with the countdown numbers.  It never occured to me to paint some blocks for him - a gift I'll be making tomorrow.

  

The local fire station suited up and paraded through our part of town with Santa.  The all-volunteer firemen ran up and down the street delivering candy canes while the sirens blasted and rockin' loud music played.  How nice is that?

  

This just in - Artists' Cafe Volume 2.  It is really NICE.  (I have a few things in it!)

   

We're expecting a big snow storm.  How perfect that I'm almost done preparing and can spend a day wrapping while listening to my Christmas music.  Nice.

angels gather here

When our brother-in-law arrived for Thanksgiving he had gifts for the kids.  Fallon received these two angels and Andy shared that Shannon requested her collection be given to her four nieces.  It was very special to get Angel of Prayer, and Angel of the Heart.

 

Sunday seemed the perfect time to bring out the Nativity set which matches the angels.  A special friend started me on the collection, adding to it every year.  I found the stable in an unfinished furniture shop - need to add some straw and pine boughs this week.  I painted the stable and added the star, then I found the ceiling tile tree.  I wish I could find more like this one!

 

The Shannon Angels are surrounded by a host of gifted angels, from Mom and Judi:  Hope, Wonder, Warmth, and Remembrance.  They are Willow Tree by Sue Lordi for Demdaco.

  

Oh, and a score from a McDonald's Happy Meal.  *wink*

happy thanksgiving

The meal is over, dishes are done.  My parents and brother-in-law are tucked into their hotel rooms.  We had a great day.  Hope you did too.  It's been a tough year, but there is much to be thankful for.  To be with loved ones today was very special.  We lit a candle in the center of the table, to remember my sister.  How perfect is that centerpiece?  Maureen gave it to me this week.  Looks like there may even be 65 roses there.

 

 

I am grateful for YOU.  You ran to the rescue when I needed comfort - with your good thoughts, your kind words, your lovely gifts, your beautiful messages, and of course - your *winks*.  This year of sorrow will always be remembered hand-in-hand with the outpouring of love you expressed.  Thank you.

pumpkin eater

Peter was on my blog today and noticed there are quite a few photos of Fallon.  Didn't mean to leave you out sweetie.  I'll take this time to toot your horn - congrats on getting your license!  (NJ drivers beware - the silver van with the large heartagram sticker on the back may not be driven by just me anymore).  How did our little Peter become a driving senior?  We are so proud of you!

 

I couldn't believe it - today was our first snow!  Yesterday I cut a dozen roses from my garden and now there is snow on the pumpkin.  With such a blustery storm outside I felt all domestic and warm inside and actually made some pumpkin bread thanks to Pillsbury, and grabbed some Pumpkin Spice coffee from the corner shop ($1.39!).  Then UPS drove up with a parcel which included a juicy new magazine.  You'll need to get this one.  Spectacular!  (thanks Jenny)

  

Let yourself be influenced by the change of season - in a good way. 

diamond doll

  

We are ready for the party!  Last night we finished Fallon's Harlequin costume and had a little dress rehearsal.  She really had to twist my arm to get me involved in this one.  I did the black diamond eyes.  She's not sure.  What do you think?

  

More photos after.  Thanks to all of you who participated in the comments on the post below.  Means alot to me.  *blows kisses*

sock central....(edited)

it has been reported that the socks have arrived and will be presented this afternoon.  stay tuned...

 

EDIT:  rather than make a new post, I am editing this one because I want you to be able to click on "comments" and read the message left by Angie, one of our favorite nurses from 7B.   So yesterday afternoon I got to be a fly-on-the-wall (by way of a speaker phone) while Marietta, the nurse manager on 7B gathered two shifts of nurses and aides, therapists (OT and RT) and some other special people, including Shannon's doctor.  On the table were only *65* pairs of socks.  Marietta read the letter I had composed (see below).  Very cool to hear my words come through someone else's mouth.  At the key moment, the remaining 600-and-something socks were brought in as Marietta continued to explain the project.  Wonderful to hear that Angie was there, as well as other favorite caregivers.   For a few minutes yesterday there were people having thoughts about my sister.  For a few minutes, before the hustle and bustle of starting a shift (or leaving one), there were people who got the group wink, the thanks, the validation that the call they have answered is of great value, and that they matter. 

Did you feel it?  Did you feel that goosebump moment?  Wow!  We really did it.  *high five*  XOXO

 

*pink wink* posted

 

The final pink arrivals which include a pair knitted just for me:

  

Dear friends,

Who knew that my request, on July 29th, for collecting 65 pairs of pink socks would end with 700?  It isn't the end, it's only the beginning.  Several angels are at work on the other end as they are in on the surprise and are planning to make a celebration for the Pink Wink arrival.  You know I will keep you posted!  One of the last emails I got from my sister was in May when she wrote to me about the blog comments you left for her, sending your positive vibes.  She enjoyed all the well wishes and said they were definite day brighteners.  Imagine what she would say to this - 700 socks sent in her honor. 

I am without words to describe what this has meant to me.  I recognize that it was a loving effort to participate in this.  You shopped for socks, came home and packaged them, then went back out to post them.  Many envelopes were winks themselves - decorated with pink paint or ink and roses and x's & o's and hearts and flourishes and messages.  Some were filled with pink wrappings and ribbons.  Some came with beautiful cards or lovely gift offerings.  Others came in a plain envelope with a quick note and some were simply anonymous - no return address at all.  There were boxes containing more than a dozen pairs, and envelopes filled with a single pair.  Some socks were dropped off at my home and others were delivered from overseas.  No matter how the socks arrived I felt the love energy tucked inside.  I get it that by sending me socks you are offering your support and sympathy.  I get it that by sending socks you help me honor the memory of Shannon.  I get it that you can't imagine loss, or have experienced a loss of your own.  I get it that you love your sister, or your sibling, or your best-friend-who-is-practically-a-sister.  I get it that you may know someone with Cystic Fibrosis.  I get it that you are a caregiver, or know a caregiver, or believe that acknowledging caregivers is important.  I get it that it just feels good to join in something that is about sharing gratitude.  I get it that the impulse to be with me on this may have no specific definition.  I feel the love, and as I said before:  you make grief endurable. 

There is more to tell, more to share, and more to celebrate as the story continues to unfold.  For now, let me offer my humble thanks.   Posting the boxes felt good, although a little sad as it's been a daily task for me to attend to this project.  It began as an idea to pay-it-forward to my sister's caregivers and then it became bigger but offered a distraction to keep my mind occupied.  I reflect on the whole thing now and see that it was so comforting to share my grief.   By dividing it, it slowly diminishes. 

I know you are with me.  SHE is with me.  You have helped me say that she mattered.  I will never forget this.  NEVER.  Thank you.  THANK YOU.

xoxo, Michelle 

launch

I had to really pack them in and squish down so the covers would fit - 690 pairs!  *high fives* all around.  To my friends, to my neighbors, to my online buddies and acquaintances from near and far, and to those of I've never even exchanged a word with - written or spoken, THANK YOU.   I am finishing up the letter that will accompany each bin, then they are hitting the road.  The last few that came in....

The gathering of these socks has been such an experience.  There is a pink glow where there was once a dark hole.  I will continue to write about the winks and all the ripple effects....but now it's time to launch....to spread the love.

The kids started school today.  Amazing how they have grown (in August, Fallon turned 13 and Peter turned 18 - a senior!)  Amazing that the summer season is over (but not the hot weather!)  Amazing that we can be 3/4 of the way through the year and yet still feel like we can start anew.  A fresh start for the teachers, students, and parents.  New notebooks, fresh pencils, cool folders and cooler shoes.

I'm ready for something new.  I'm ready to look forward.  I'm ready to say farewell to these pink socks and let the love energy they are wrapped in be released.  Deep breath.....

shocking . . . hot . . . blush . . .

shell, coral, salmon, rose, cerise, fuchsia, flamingo, magenta, bubble gum, cotton candy, pepto....

Who knew there were this many shades of pink?  Who knew there were this many kinds of socks out there?  From Alaska to Florida and from Germany and New Zealand.  From good friends and from we-have-never-met-before friends.  Cozy, fuzzy, soft, long, short, thick, slick, subtle, sharp, loud, polka dots, stripes, flowers, sea horses, stars, hearts, words, paisley, argyle, and plain.  Here are the latest:

 

It's bittersweet to listen to but I'll save you the google:  click HERE to listen on youtube, and HERE is the backstory of the lyrics....scroll way down. 

I cannot wait to send these pink bins off to the U of M hospital.  I had to spill the secret to two people in order to have someone *on the inside* who could guide me through how to make this sock arrival happen.  You know I will keep you all posted.   My plan is to ship on September 3rd - the kids will go back to school that day so it is offically *launch date*.  I can't believe I am saying this but:  you can stop sending me socks.  If you have some and are ready to post then hurry!!  Luckily I have kept up with labeling them as they arrive.  Andrew was a darling and wrote offering to help as he thought I was buried in pink and therefore couldn't blog.   

Actually, I stepped away from the computer as we had visitors.  Graham's two sisters came from England - and we all had a great time! 

rockin' the socks!

 

Wow - they are still coming in and since I have word that more are on the way I will wager that we will reach 650 which means you have sent in TEN TIMES what I hoped to get.  If you haven't been keeping up you can scroll down through the recent posts or go here to see where this started.  Today's packages included piles of pink from two groups that collected the donations - HCIT?  I wish you could see my big-eyed-open-mouthed expression every time I pick up from the post office.  And then I wish you could see me get all misty-eyed-yet-grinning as I read all your sweet notes, and when I realize that some of the return addresses are not familiar to me.  Thank you for the sweet pink love.  You make grief endurable. 

sox in the city*

A huge pink scrap album (to chronicle the pink story!) arrived from JW in OZ with her pinks socks and the cutest story about being a girl dressed in black shopping for pink.  I'm with ya girl, pink is so not my thing either....but it has it's own meaning with this and I appreciate EVERYONE who has made the effort to shop for and send pink socks.  These arrived from Carrie on Friday but somehow missed the photo since they were propped up next to my computer as I checked the website for these clever things. 

 

The third pink bin is nearly full.  I'm off to Target for another as I have had messages from many of you that more socks are still en route.   I.AM.BLOWN.AWAY.and.humbled.and thrilled.THANK.YOU.

*i borrowed the post title sox in the city from my friend lisa.  isn't she clever? 

tickled PINK

I roll, tie, and label the socks every night while watching the Olympics.  I watch gymnastics and it gets me a little sad as my sister was a gymnast and she always enjoyed watching the event.  Then I see all the pinkness I am surrounded by, knowing it has all arrived from around the globe, and I am filled with a huge sense of PEACE.  Who knew that pink socks would make one feel so loved?  I am giddy thinking about what it will be like to see their arrival on 7B.  Thank you, Team Pink. 

.r.i.p.p.l.e. . . . .r.i.p.p.l.e. . .

Can you believe this?  It's just incredible!  I had no idea.  None.  Here's the thing....I would say at least 75% of the packages that have arrived are from new-to-me people.  HCIT?  How about that cute message on the envelope from Bonnie?  And those rosey messages from Inge, pinned through the socks for the nurses.  You all keep me going.  I am so feeling the love.

It has been a delight to read your notes and to get your messages both written and unwritten.  I'm stealing this line from my friend Linda....it blows my socks off.  Truly.  Thank you again.  I know I said August 15th for the due date but it will be at least another week after that until I send the boxes off so for those of you who have written - not to worry.   xoxo

...still...with...me...

This message, found on the envelope from my friend Sarah in England, was an A-HA moment for me.  It was so touching to see and to know that she, like many of you, are still with me.   It has never been more obvious than in the pinkness arriving daily to my home and my post office box.  But what I didn't realize until I saw that message, was that by launching this project, Shannon is still with me.  She's still with me. 

 

The mail staff must get a kick out of all the packages.  We are enjoying every minute of it.

I tend to buy two of everything.  Good thing I got two of these pink bins because this one is full!  THANK YOU to all who have sent in pink socks.  This totally ROCKS!!   We passed the goal of *65* days ago! 

I've been rolling up each pair and labeling with the name and location of each donation on a pink tag so each recipient will GET that this project is a global hug.  You can imagine I spazzed when Judy sent me these AND the stencils to make more. 

I am humbled and honored to be the hostess of something that has rippled wider than I could ever have imagined.  xoxo

and wider and wider and wider....

When I was twelve or so my friend Peggy and I, and a handful of neighborhood friends, staged a backyard carnival to raise money for Cystic Fibrosis.  Remember those kits you could send away for back in the 70s?  The Muscular Dystrophy Association and Jerry Lewis enlisted children to help make a difference.  We borrowed one of those kits and put our own spin on it and made it happen.  I clearly remember riding our bikes to the local businesses soliciting for freebies to offer as prizes.  We got keychains and pens from the bank, a ball and bat and glove from Ben Franklin, some bags of penny candy from the grocery store....I believe we raised something like $27 from the nickel and dime donations we collected for the games and fortune telling and face paintings.  We mailed all the loose change in an envelope to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.  A few weeks later we were sent a thank you letter and a dozen CF collar pins.  I WAS SURE THEY WOULD SOON FIND A CURE AFTER RECEIVING OUR ENORMOUS CONTRIBUTION.

Looking back now I think that event gave each participant a different perspective of HOPE.  My parents must have been touched that we thought about taking on the disease with the belief we could help.  My sister must have known we really loved her.  We carnival-throwing-kids were confident that our $$$ could be used for research for a cure.  But imagine what it must have been like at the CF Foundation office that morning when the mail arrived with a letter written by a 12 year old offering $27 in coins to present to the lab in hopes that a cure would be identified.   Imagine that.  There HAD to be a ripple effect don't you think?  And while a cure wasn't discovered in Shannon's lifetime there were alot of breakthroughs including the invention of the "vest" which not only allowed a CF patient to be independent in their daily bronchial drainage therapies, but it was developed by my sister's doctor, and she was a recipient of a prototype model.

All I can say is I never expected this.  I never anticipated that the sock request would get such an incredible response and I never saw it coming that there would be spin-off things occuring - like the sharing of stories.  Stories of loss, stories of health, stories of inspiration, motivation, encouragement.  The ripple effect is amazing.  The people I have heard from are amazing.  This whole thing is utterly amazing.  There are some things I will share with you but some things will just have to stay in my head and my heart. 

THANK YOU for winking at me.  THANK YOU for sharing your stories.  To begin...in my home mailbox were these, from a neighbor friend who I didn't know read my blog.... 

And then these from the post office box...........

And I'm off to pick up the mail at the post office today....then tune in on the Street Team blog where I'll be posting the next challenge later today.  It's only been two days of mail at my post office and we have already passed the 65 pairs goal.  And I can already feel the goodness that is being spread through the ripple effect that started last week.  There are still ten more days to go.  Wow!!!

xoxo

are you still with me?

Back in April I asked for your help.  In the post {are you with me} I made a request for your good wishes for my sister who was in the hospital.   You came through for me.  To many of you it may have been the introduction to Shannon.  For many it was my introduction to you as you left a comment for the first time.  It was a wonderful few days to see all the kind words pour in and to hear Shannon's reaction after being put in the spotlight.  What I'm realizing now is that because I shared her with you here, you are all invested in her.  YOU know that she mattered to me.  You are offering your kind words to me this time.  You get it. 

 

In the last 13 days of her life I was privileged to spend every possible minute with her.  I witnessed grace.  I witnessed strength.  I witnessed faith.  I witnessed love.  I witnessed power - power of God, power of medicine, and power of spirit.  I watched nurses who knew by experience that the end was near yet continued to give Shannon respect and dignity and control.  I will never forget some of the gestures they made to her husband Andy, and to our family, to make us more comfortable as we held vigil.  I will never forget that many of them wore PINK - pink shirts or pink socks, as though there was a Shannon Street Team.  She was dressed in pink so we got her groovy pink socks to change into everyday.  The socks got comments from anyone who had to come into the room - visitors or staff.  Pink is her color. 

I have this idea.  I want to acknowledge the staff on 7B of the U of M Hospital where my sister spent the last 4 months of her life.  I especially want to recognize those who I got to know - the professionals who cared for her and cared about her.  I think it would be a very powerful thing to see a box of PINK socks show up on the 7th floor.  With the box will come a note that will explain the gesture and the message.  

I will tell the story of my sister who courageously battled cystic fibrosis.  I will share the story of how I watched nurses and aides and therapists and doctors let Shannon be in control.  They offered her respect, dignity, privacy, and honesty.  I will share how we were all wearing PINK the last few days of her life - family and staff.  I will share how important their role is - not only in the care as described on the charts, but in what they offer that is off the charts.  Off the charts. 

I want there to be hoards of pink socks that spill out on the counter of the nursing station.  I want the staff on 7B to feel thanked, to feel appreciated, to feel validated.  I want them to know I was paying attention.  I want them to know I saw what they did....I was listening and watching and recognized the angel within them.  I want each person (man or woman) to get a pair of pink socks and to put them on the next day and think about the shift they are about to begin.  How they conduct themselves may have a huge impact on someone that day.  {Shouldn't we all think that way everyday?}   Someone is healing, someone is hurting, someone is lonely, someone is dying.  Someone may be dying.  How a nurse treats the patient really makes a difference.  How each of us walk the halls can make a difference.  Holding someone's hand as they die doesn't get you a bonus or a gold star on your paycheck if you are a nurse.  But it might get you a pair of Pink Socks that are an offering of gratitude and validation to be worn with pride as the practice of making a difference continues.

I want there to be an a-ha moment on 7B that radiates to 7A and the rest of the 7th floor....and the 6th floor, and the 5th floor, and the coffee shop, and the pharmacy, and the clinic where the Cystic Fibrosis patients go each month,....and the nearby hospitals, and - well you get it.  I want THINK PINK to be more than Breast Cancer awareness....I want THINK PINK to be more than Shannon and Cystic Fibrosis awareness.  I want it to be more than being about Pink Socks.  In fact, forget THINK PINK and make that PINK WINK.  I want each of us to begin every day with the awareness that what we do and how we behave may directly affect someone....As you put on your socks, or your shoes, say a little prayer or give a little thought to how you will use this day, every day.  We can all wear a wink.

 

So here is the mission:  send me a pair of pink socks.  That's it.  Men's or women's, long or short.  A little or a lot of pink, any shade - dark or light.  I will gather until mid August.  And I will send in one humungo box to the University of Minnesota Hospital, floor 7B, where they take care of patients with Cystic Fibrosis.  It's one of the ways I want to honor the memory of my sister.  It's one of the ideas I had for offering thanks to the caregivers.  When I asked for your good wishes I told you the nickname for CF is Sixty-Five Roses.  So you guessed it....

Send to P.O. Box 73, Piscataway, NJ 08855.  Let's call the due date August 15.  Many thanks.  I close my eyes and think of the dozens of you who have reached out to me at this time and I am so moved.  Truly.

 

 

thank you

Thank you for your expressions of sympathy this past week.   I am touched.  As you can imagine it's been a difficult time and it's sometimes hard to see through my rose-colored glasses so if I'm not around it's to spare you my moodswings.  I have a few projects that offer distraction - we are planting pink rose bushes in memory of Shannon this weekend in the backyard.  Actually, there are many rose bushes being planted across the country as one good idea took hold and Shannon-love is being spread. 

And I have something I'm working on where you could help me out - I will post about it soon. 

xoxo

the shape of things

I obsess about several shapes.  A close relative to one of my faves, the maltese cross, is the quatrefoil.  I also obsess about punches.  I'm always on the prowl for new images.  You know I swooned when I saw this one:  HERE.  

The black and red pattern you see in the upper left is a photo of a wood box at our front door (for shoes!)  Here are the close-ups of the punch-outs from rubbings done over textured wallpaper on colored paper, for GPP Street Team Crusade No. 21:

Many of you have written kind notes asking how my sister Shannon is doing.  I was going to refrain from giving an update here to respect her privacy...but then I decided we could use your continued prayer and good vibes.  As you may know she left the hospital in time for her 40th birthday {yay!} but after a week home she's back in.   It still warms my heart to think of all the responses we got when I asked for your words of cheer.  I know you will join me in sending positive energy her way again.  xoxo

pip pip hooray!

Congrats to David Cook!!  This was my favorite part of the evening....I rewound on tivo several times, and then searched youtube this morning....

Earlier in the night we got to see our own american idol.  Check out Sam and his classmates HERE.  It's a little dark....but what a moment!  (Sam is second from left).

double trouble (in a good way)

Today we got good news that Shannon is leaving the hospital!  We've been praying for this day for weeks.  We have all been wanting to break her out so that she could enjoy her 40th birthday at HOME. 

Tomorrow she will be 40, and I will be 44.  Having the same birthday is just one of the special things I share with my sister.  There were probably many years that we blew out candles on the same cake - but I remember one year in particular where there was a party, and one large sheet cake, and we each got to pick our own color for the frosted roses.  I think I picked yellow or red, but I'm sure she picked pink.  Shannon ~ let's skip the frosted roses and get something decadent and chocolatey and call each other with our mouths full.

How is possible that this sweet thing in the flowered purple coat below is now 40?

The best gift will be getting a birthday call from you and the caller ID tells me you are HOME.

what day is it?

This week was one of those this-feels-like-a-monday-on-wednesday AND this-feels-like-a-friday-on-wednesday.  At least today is Saturday and could sleep in, one of my favorite indulgences.  So here's a catch-up post so I can clear my head and the memory card on my camera.....

 

Another terrific weekend spent making cool stuff with old friends and new ones.  Kathy and Bill are The Best hosts and the additions they made to their compound are wonderful.  The weekend began with a delightful ride from the airport with new-friend-who-felt-like-an-old-friend-because-we-talked-and-talked-and-talked, Beth.  Fun to meet you in person Beth!  Mom drives to Valley Ridge each year from the Twin Cities so she can see hang out and try out the groovy things we like to do with paint.

Then we spent two days painting pages.  There's nothing quite like an extended workshop - to be able to set up camp and leave your stuff out for two days is really cool.  The artists made great stuff!  Great to see Judy, Bonnie, and Bernadette again.  And I got to give a hug to Tina and Marlynn - both are friends made online and met in person for the first time.  And it was delight to meet Kelley, Julia, Kaye, Michelle, Sue, Jennifer, Kathy, and the token dude, Gary.

And at VRAS they have a new community building not only for amazing lunches, but for a wine-and-cheese-or-soda happy hour.  I think we were all very happy - as in it was great to spend time together making art and making new friends.  For more photos of the weekend you can visit VRAS's album HERE.

EDIT:  OMG!  Look at my thumb and index finger on Kelley's shoulder!  It's covered in black spray paint.  What a riot.  Where were my gloves?

 

I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to teach at this wonderful place, and to have a classroom full of students who are eager to learn and play and made it so much fun.  It's so energizing to see creativity at work, and to be part of that.  And I'm grateful to my husband and kids - that they make it easy for me to get away, to be a full-time artist for a few days.  I'll be back in October 2009 and have already started inventing my class - can't wait! 

 

Since Shannon is still in the hospital I modified my return plans and caught a ride back to MN with Mom and Judy, and got to spend some time visiting with Mom and Dad, Shannon and her husband Andy, my Grandma, my cousins Kathy and Molly, and friends Virginia and Peggy.  So fab to see so many loved ones.  Whew!  Got alot in for less than 48 hours.  Shannon is doing much better and it was The Best to get to see her.  Keep your fingers crossed and your prayers coming in....hope she's out before her 40th birthday on the 17th.

Got home at midnight Tuesday, then headed out Wednesday afternoon for an MCR concert with Fallon and our friend Leci.  Home at 1 am.  Do you blame me for not knowing what day it was?

Twenty Crusades!  Phew!  I can hardly believe it.  Congrats to Sarah Harris from the U.K. for being the Top Hat Pick for No. 19.  I was late in getting No. 20 up but it's an easy one....plenty of time to try it before June 1st.  Come play! 

Wishing all you all a Happy Mother's Day!  I'm feeling so grateful to have time with my Mom this week, and to come home to three wonderful children.  I am so lucky!  Check this out, found in Sam's backpack:

Adorable!