michelle ward

got spirit?

I didn't manage to get out the Halloween decorations before I went to Valley Ridge so I got a late start this year.  Check out the coolness that came in the Gift-from-Linda bag....got me in the spirit!  Fallon and I finally hauled out the black-and-orange bins and put out our favorite things for the holiday....11 days away!  Winston is an October baby.  We aren't sure of his actual birthday so we claimed 10/31.  Perfect don't you think?

Linda not only makes lovely packages, the stuff inside them rocks too.  I would love to follow her around to see where she scores all the loot.  Thanks Linda.  You get me.

I do know that Sandy scored this while on a mission in Cuba.  I admit not knowing anything about the culture there and had no idea they had this community of artists making books.  Her eyes glimmered as she spoke of discovering these.  I did a little research and found this link, click if you want to learn more HERE.  The book she gifted me with is very cool book, almost zine-like, with xeroxed pages and individual embellishments and cut-outs.  I managed to find the translation for this one - it's a poem.  Lovely, thanks Sandy.

And another special thanks.  (I keep saying I'm a lucky girl!)  This one is a double gift.  You can see the necklace....this girls gets me too.  She knows it's a favorite shape.   She knew it would make me swoon.  The first part of the gift is a letter.  A lovely letter.  A long letter.  Handwritten with thoughtfulness and honesty.  The kind that makes you laugh and makes you cry.  The kind you read and re-read.  Then tuck away somewhere special.....and read again the next day.  The kind of letter that validates, encourages, inspires.  Aren't words powerful?  Especially when they are used for goodness?  Aren't connections amazing?  Doesn't it blow you away that we can feel like a kindred spirit to someone we have never met just because of the words we exchange?  To you, you know who you are.....there is so much more to say, but for now - thank you.  xoxo

commitment

Just reflecting on the past weekend....and I am feeling so fulfilled.  It's an amazing thing to have an idea, to visualize it, to nurture it, to explore it, and then finally, to share it.  Stairway to Heaven is a workshop concept I have lived with for over a year.  It's been like holding a secret.  I got to reveal it not once but twice to an awesome group of women.  Some were new-to-me friends, some were veteran favorites.  They ALL ROCKED.  It was thrilling to see them take on this project, each with their own flair.  As an instructor you commit yourself to presenting something new and fresh, and hope it takes hold and provides a platform for growth.  You endeavor to teach *process*, disguised as a *project*.  You put yourself out there, hoping that their greatest take-away is enthusiasm for creativity. 

I don't take it lightly that artists choose to spend their time and money on a workshop with me.  I consider it an honor that the time they set aside to commit to art is with me.  While I hope to fuel, or re-fuel them, they most definitely re-fuel me.  Their presence, their eagerness to work, and the results that follow offer me validation on many levels.  I am so grateful.

Unplanned, there was a word I latched onto and repeated during class:  commit.  It was the perfect prompt at the time, as I tried to encourage students to commit to a color palette, commit to a page shape and arrangement, to commit to adding content.  It was appropriate then, and when you think about it, it is the best way to continue moving forward as you build a book, or work on a painting or collage or whatever it is you do.  Small steps, small commitments, inform and direct the following steps, the following choices.  You make a decision and it opens up the possibilities to what happens next.  Mistakes may occur but that is where the real learning often takes place.  It is in making commitments that you evolve.

There were a few jokes about *fear of commitment* but it was all in fun.  I'm sure there were moments we could have asked to be *committed*.  They did commit big time by creating really wonderful, special, unique books.  They committed by making time for art and friendship, and by sharing in the creative process as we all learned things from one another.  That's what happens in workshops.  ESPECIALLY at Valley Ridge.  We all extend our thanks to Kathy and Bill for their commitment to providing this spectacular venue where magic takes place.  I'm certain there is fairy dust in the air.

How cool is that?  You see my cute little Mom?  She committed a weekend to join us in the fun! 

Right now I am committing time to wrap up my proposals for 2010 at VRAS.  I am psyched for the ideas that are channeling in.  I am giddy about going back next September.  The workshop schedule will be posted soon, I'll let you know when to hop over for a look.

Thank you ladies, for your commitment.  You have gifted me with energy and validation and satisfaction and fulfillment.  I am a lucky girl to have climbed the Stairway to Heaven with you.

  

*waves goodbye*

See you next week.
 

oh, come on!

Yesterday I posted a new challenge on the Street Team blog.  Didn't have time to cross post over here last night since we were off to see Toy Story 1&2 in 3-D.  So this morning I open up typepad and see they have officially switched the New Platform to be the Permanent Platform.  Rrrrgghhhh.  I don't mind learning new stuff....in fact I enjoy it.  But come on, I liked the old format.   Anyone else frustrated by the change?  And this:  I'm wondering if it's only a glitch, but the comments aren't being emailed to me anymore.  AND leaving comments using a typepad ID never works.  And responding to comments has gotten complicated.  Ok, thanks for letting me vent...onward....it's Rockober!  LOVE this time of year.

This marks the third anniversary of Crusading for Creativity!  This month I invite you to Come Over to the Dark Side ;)  It's not all that sinister...it's about using black paper or black backgrounds in your work because sometimes starting on a non-white surface can lead to new discoveries.

Earlier I showed you this cool punch from Lisa.  Then this cool stamp arrived from Judi.  Love these new little toys...but I wanted to work bigger on my black pages so I took inspiration from these shapes and made a new stencil/mask set.  It was a beautiful day to spray paint and I must have made at least a dozen backgrounds.  And how about those cool crows from Martha?  They can be used as masks too!  And the placemat?  Perfect plastic tool for any kind of paint.  Don't you see stencil opportunities everywhere?

Isn't that silver totally swoonworthy on black?  Gah!
 
  
 

  
 

still growing

It may officially be fall....and the nights are cooler, but my roses haven't gotten the memo.  Once the first frost arrives I'm sure they will refrain from showing off....but right now they are glorious.  The first one I'm showing you was one of my Mother's Day gifts - called Hot Cocoa.  It is such an unusual color - very rusty red with brownish edges.  I couldn't quite capture it, but aren't they pretty?

 

And this one....I should name her.  She was from the first plantings last July.  Look how much she's grown!  I can't even count the number of bouquets she's gifted me with.  It's interesting how some of the roses have grown at a faster pace.  There is one from last year that is serious lagging behind even the ones from this year.  This one....she is the star. 

see this and see ya

 

XO bowl:  reader Leau gave me the heads up and soon I was the owner of this lovely ceramic piece from Annie at Blissful Arts on Etsy.  Type-adorned bangles:  another reader Joan sent these!!  I love that you know what I love!  The hat:  I'm off to somewhere warm and sunny.  It's just me and he-who-doesn't-like-to-be-blogged-about at an undisclosed location :)  I'm a lucky girl ~ See you next week.

 

P.S.  It's been a busy summer for everyone so I've extended the current crusade to September 1st.  Come on over and Knock Yourself Off.

blog rewind: it's a wonderful life

As I mentioned, this post is brought you thanks to Seth who is hosting a collaborative event of revisiting old entries.  I chose this post because it stands out as the first time I shared something personal about my family life, and it was most likely the first time I hit double digits in comments.  I really felt a sense of connection and the response I got validated it was ok to share all aspects of life as a wife, parent, daughter, sister, friend, and artist....and that exposing ourselves as real people on our blogs is just as important as expressing ourselves as artists. 

Here it is - probably my wordiest post but this time with bigger photos, and I'm including some related content below the original text (which can be seen with the comments from September 2006 HERE). 

 

Originally posted September 3, 2006

Living with AUTISM is a challenge, but it’s wonderful and rewarding.  Many children with Autism thrive on routine.  They depend on it.  Our son Sam is one of those kids.  He sets his mind on how and when things should happen.  Here’s a story where foiled plans became a dream of a lifetime.

Last year we went to Niagara Falls.  We found out that Marineland, an amusement park with exhibits of many mammals, had Orcas.  Our son Sam has loved Killer Whales since he was about a year old.  I mean, HE LOVES THEM.  The walls in his room are covered in posters, and picture calendars, and we have dozens of Orca toys – plastic, plush, large, small, plus magnets, stickers, pillow cases.  AND did I mention books?  Countless books on whales and dolphins, but mostly Orcas.  Free Willy?  He’s a friend we watch nearly every day.  So off we went to Marineland on Thursday, August 16, 2005.

 

 

 

Once in the park we headed straight for Friendship Cove, home of 4 Orcas.  I can’t tell you how excited we all were to watch Sam’s face as he saw, for the first time in his life, a real Killer Whale.  It was a moment to remember, followed by many more that weekend.  LAST year you could purchase tickets to stand with the trainer to feed and pet an Orca.  Yeah, we all did it – more than once.  After a full day of fun with the family at the park Sam and I returned for a second day – 9 hours just standing at the tanks, watching the whales.  Sam was in heaven.  “Goodbye whales, see you next year”.  From the day we departed Canada Sam started talking about returning on Thursday, August 17, 2006.  If you know a child with Autism, you know that you had to talk about the upcoming trip daily, like 20 times a day.

 

 

 

Fast forward to this past August.  Sam was ready, wearing the same shirt as last year so the whales would recognize him.  His routine was working up until we got to Friendship Cove – no more ticket sales for feeding the whales.  Foiled!  The activity was replaced with a new Splash Show.  Sure, the Splash Show was fantastic, fascinating, but I could see the despair and confusion on my sweet boy’s face.   We stayed for two shows, took lots of photos and video, saw the rest of the park, went on rides, and returned to say good bye to the whales.  Sam and I returned again for a second day.  Didn’t take the video camera as I had enough footage, right?  Bad idea.  So we are there, planted into position as we were last year, to spend the day watching the whales swim around their wide open tanks.  You are literally two feet away from these beautiful mammals.  The Splash Show is every hour and half – so people start filling into the area ten minutes before show time, then disperse twenty minutes later, soaking wet, after the show.  The trainers notice we are there, and still there, and again, still there.  We talk with one of the attendants – he asks Sam about the pile of books he’s carrying.  This young man, Nicholas, bless his heart, cued in that Sam is no ordinary child, and tried to keep him engaged in conversation.  One thing was obvious to Nicholas – Sam ADORES the whales.  THEN, just prior to the next Splash Show, the “host” of the event, Sean, came over to talk with Sam.  I could feel myself leaving my body  - you know that kind of moment you have when something REALLY GOOD is happening and time stands still and you can barely speak and the tears flood down your face.  Sean tells Sam – I could really use a helper for the show.  Do you think you could help me?  WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?  Dear God, THANK YOU.  If I could have felt my legs at that moment I would have dropped to my knees.

 

 

 

The show begins.  Mike and Kendra, the whale trainers, introduce themselves to this hysterical mom, with winks and smiles, KNOWING, knowing.  Sean is at the microphone, introduces Sam Ward from NJ…..and Sam, who has memorized this show, mimics the trainers.  He knew what to do.  He knew the act.  They got such a kick out of it.  Sam was not afraid in the least to be in front of a HUGE crowd.  He directed the whales to do their tricks.  NEVER in my wildest dreams did I ever expect that Sam would have the chance of a lifetime.  All credit goes to Nicholas, who had the insight, and Sean, Mike, and Kendra, who had the hearts, to give this special boy a very special day.  Warm hearted thanks to our Marineland friends.  I know they feel rewarded, because you just get that from our Sam. 

 

 

 

 

Sam stayed behind the barricade with the trainers after the show.  The two whales, mother and daughter, were still floating near the trainer area,  - waiting, watching.  Sam opened his books to show them the Orca pictures.  Page after page.  The whales didn’t swim away.  Sam read to them.  Sam had observed everything they did in their “free time”, and he especially loved when they stuck their tongues out.  So Sam sticks his tongue out at the whales and they mimicked him!  The hour and half between shows flew by and Sam was honorary trainer for one more show. 

 

 

 

Imagine my husband’s reaction when he came to pick us up outside the park at the end of the day!  Thank goodness I had my digital camera and could show him and the kids all the proof that we were the luckiest souls on earth that day.  Of course I wish they had been with us, but if they were, would it have all happened like it did?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  And Thursday, August 16, 2007?  You know where I’ll be!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I uploaded a very short video clip of the event HERE.  In addition to all the heartfelt responses from readers there was a really cool comment that came from Nicholas, who was the catalyst for the dream day.  I also heard from a reader who suggested I send the story to Chicken Soup for the Soul as they had an open call for Special Needs themed tales.  We made it in!!  (with a photo too!)

 

 

 

We went back again to see our friends, the trainers and the whales, at Marineland in 2007 but we haven't been back since.  If I had been on the ball with getting passports we would be going this summer.  They'll be seeing us again, you can be sure of that.  And the memories of our visits will forever reside in our hearts.

 

 

 

Thanks for indulging me in a repost of this story.  To see more revisits by other bloggers check in with Seth.

treasures

First treasure:  getting to spend time with my Grandmother while in MN.  I finally got a photo of her with this triptych, a favorite of mine.  She's had it on her grand table as long as I can remember.  A short time ago I was prowling around ebay trying to find one similar to hers.  Not having a photo of it I went by memory, and I think I did pretty well with my score.  It's much smaller in scale, but it sits on my table now and reminds me of her. 

 

I won't give away her age, but you can gather what it might be since my Dad (her son) turns 71 TODAY.  Happy Birthday Dad.

Another treasure:  Seth, my friend at The Altered Page, launched a viral plan last week - to revisit an old blog post in his adventure called Buried Treasure.  He is inviting participants for round 2 tomorrow.  Isn't that a cool idea?  Visit Seth to see his long list of players from last week and to see who joins in for another go at it.  If you are a blogger why not do it too?  Check back to see my submission in the morning.

 

This got me thinking:  What do you consider a great blog post?  Is it the content?  The attitude?  Some bloggers are wordy, some are visual.  Some are both.  Do you prefer one over the other?  I bet there is a difference in what we consider good depending on whether we are the reader or the writer.  As a blog writer I tend to judge good posts by the number of comments it gets.  You tend to think readers leave feedback when your thoughts or images jive with their own interests.  And while we don't assess our success by comments it does give us a sense of what hits the mark with our audience. 

I have selected a favorite archived post to share with you tomorrow because I know it was one that was a turning point for me personally, giving me confidence in how I blogged, and what was ok to share.  I'm curious....what was the post that made you bookmark me and want to come back? 

See you tomorrow.

before i go....one more reveal

This would be the mother of all reveals, if one were keeping score.  I thought I was going to skulk off into the sky, flying back to Minnesota, carrying with me the cloud of grief, but instead I will be carrying this Book of Love, to share with my family.  How does one go about finding and composing the most apt words to convey how you have made me feel?  You obviously know me well enough to know I am utterly moved.  Picture me surrounded with rays of light, casting a pink glow.  Both eyes filled with tears.  One for sorrow, one for joy.

 

I will let the photos do the talking.  Special thanks to Secret Agents JeriAnn, Julie, and Lisa who schemed and plotted and gathered a generous, thoughtful, loving, talented team of participants.  I thank you all for the quiet, gentle embrace.  I feel you.

 

 

 

  

Julie has loaded the pages onto flickr, you can visit HERE.

 

I know, can you imagine?  I'm blown away too. 

I am missing Shannon so much, but look how many art-sisters I have (plus an art-brother, Seth).  A swarm of angels.  I've said it before: You make grief endurable.  With humble gratitude, Michelle.

bff day

Did ya know?  Today is BBF Day.  Below is one of my fave *friend* songs that I love to crank up and sing to in the van.  What's on your friend playlist?  Maybe THIS or THIS or THIS or THIS or even THIS.

 

I remember this from Girl Scouts:  Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver, the other gold.

To my gold friends, my silver friends, the ones I see often, the ones I see not so often, and the ones I've never seen:  xoxo

yesterday

Yesterday was my 45th birthday.  I think that almost as hard as July 10th will be, yesterday was tough.  I really missed her.  For forty years we shared the same birthday.  And while we shared many other things, like our brother, our parents, a bedroom, a wedding dress,....sharing a birthday was something really special. 

 

There were many years when Shannon and I got matching gifts.  When we each turned forty our parents gave us these charm bracelets.  I got mine five years ago, and she got hers last year.  Her last birthday.  She is still wearing hers, filled with charms from all of us.  Forever, the 40 on mine will now mean the forty years I was gifted with her presence. 

 

I've been thinking about that...presents & presence.  I look at the many wonderful presents I received this birthday and I am ever more thankful for the presence of each giver, both nearby or long distance.

And then there was this....

 

Literally dozens of buds are reaching straight up, toward the sun, toward heaven.  My plants from last July, with blooms ready to open....and one did.  My Mothers Day roses are thriving, spreading their optimism.  And roses arrived at my door too....

 

 

   

 

Thanks for all the kind words and wishes.  xoxo

i'm a lautrec dunce

 

I admit it, I don't know much about the artist or the man.  But lucky me, I have good friends who adore him, and we are off for a girls weekend together where we will visit an exhibit at The Clark.  There will be some driving involved so I gathered some tunage, and had to include the Moulin Rouge soundtrack.  I got stuck on youtube for a while this week - watching Susan Boyle wow us all.  THAT girl can wink!  Then I had to re-watch Paul Potts from an earlier Britains Got Talent.  Some great goosebump moments that I love watching over and over again.  Don't you?

I ended up back here:

l.u.c.k.y.

 

  

  

Lots of rain today.  The clouds rolled on and I noticed the clover patches.  It's my first harvest for 2009.  Proof of a lucky girl.  And more....this arrived recently from Kathleen, who has XXOOs on her license plate.  If you see her give a toot and a wink.

 

And how about this from Rita?  So cool to know the *pink wink* lives on in our thoughts. 

 

I have posted Crusade No. 30 ~ Cat Got Your Tongue?  Come play!  Thirty months of crusading for creativity, can't believe it.  Congrats to Lay Hoon for being the Top Hat Pick for No. 29.

And finally, this isn't lucky, this is good hearts in action....more than 100 of us.

so lucky

 

  

A package arrived from Hanna yesterday. Check it out...hymnals #3 and #4 have arrived!  Tack (thank you) Hanna!   You confirm that I am indeed a Lucky Girl.  And such a dear note from her - she has even named my book, should I ever write one *wink*.  (Hanna has written her own book - check it out HERE.)

 

Maybe you won't be getting Finnish hymnals from your Swedish friend today, but may the Luck of the Irish be with you.  You know I'm jigging my green boots :)

goodie two shoes

 

Finished up a few pages - loving my new carved thorns.  Making tools and using them.  Very fulfilling. Yes, I keep re-visiting this quote.  It's a fave.  Yes, I keep re-using the same colors.  They are faves.  After mentioning that I wear my palette I realize I live in my palette too.  Yep - even have red walls, sage and mustard too.  No, I don't have black walls....just black furniture :)

 

Made an evidence page of my find - even took a rubbing of the sole.  Thanks for all your comments about my boots!  I've been wearing them every day.  I haven't worn suede boots in years - loved those slouchy pixies from my DD* days and wish I still had them as Fallon is dressing in 80s fashion this week at school.  Tomorrow is the Frankie Says Relax shirt.  (It's a repro from Target....my signed-by-the-band original T is retired from wear.)  *duranduran

Evidence of a Lucky Girl:  This perfect cup arrived from Carin - she gets me ;)  And Theresa gave me the heads up on the scrabble thing - Xs & Os glued into place, which I scooped up from ETSY:  RememberMeEmily.  And how about that cute card from Sam?  Priceless.

  

One week to go on the current Crusade.  After Shaping Up, we are now practicing Portion Control.   What I am talking about?  Come see!  Lots of crusaders have already shared their interpretations - so fun to learn from one another as we all try something at the same time.  Congrats to Cath Sheard for being the most recent Top Hat Pick.

the more, the merrier

a *wink* for my stable

 

I have this very special friend and our gift to one another is to postpone exchanging Christmas goodies until Valentine's Day.  But she surprised me with an unexpected arrival today.  If a stable has a Finnish Hippo, it can have a pink glitter deer, right?  My Mom said "all kinds of animals were in the ark, why not the stable?"  I know my readers will grin with me at this timely wink.  Thanks Judi.  xo

another sign

I took this photo earlier in the week as it was time to relocate the items to make room for the halloween decorations.  I am late, and we are having a party Saturday!   Since I mentioned the four leaf clover in my last post (seen framed below) I wanted to tell you about another sign. 

 

The two ceramic pieces are from Lisa.  The rose arrived last Christmas, and the Deer Rider arrived in August.  It's one of the most extraordinary and unexpected gifts I've ever gotten.  You know when someone Gets you?   I have a precious story I have only shared with a few friends.  Lisa not only listened to me, she heard me.  And she cradled my tale, held it tight with both hands, and made it real.  She validated me by sharing some of her beliefs.  And then the deer sculpture arrived - reminding me of the story every day.

  

The day after Shannon left with the angels, I felt her presence.  It was her, and yet not.  It was most definitely a moment where I felt a filling of love energy.  That's the only way I can explain it.  It's like she sent it.  Deliberately.  It was a connection.  A time-stands-still experience.  Graham and Fallon were with me and saw it so I know I wasn't imagining it.  We were in my parent's backyard.  Deer are often seen grazing in the grassy opening to the woods.  That day there was a young deer - no spots, no antlers.  Just a young deer, alone.  She stopped and looked up at us.  She stared.  She stayed.  And stayed.  I turned and asked Graham "do you think it's her?" because she just was so still and watching us.  I blew her a kiss and she lifted her leg.  I'd never seen that.  Never.  I called to my nieces to come out and look.  Even the door opening and the girls coming out didn't frighten her away.  She was about 60 feet from us.  When she heard my brother's dog she started slowly toward the woods, keeping her head turned towards us.  I felt she was looking right at me.  A wave of peace come over me.  A calm.  A love energy filled me because I knew it was a sign.  It wasn't until a day later that I shared the story with Andy, Shannon's husband, and while telling the story we saw a sign.  A different one - one for him.  But we knew.

 

Imagine this:  I am opening a box.  It's filled with bubble wrap.  I clip the tape and carefully pull away the layers.  I'm holding an item in my hands and before I peel away the last of the wrap I see two warm dark eyes looking at me.  I burst into tears.  I am brought to my knees.  I am dialing frantically to call Lisa.  I see the girl rider.  She reminds me of little Shannon.  My favorite memory of her as a toddler was getting her up from her naps.  She would cling to me in a sleepy drape with wet ringlets from being in her mist tent.  I loved that she would snuggle into me and let me carry her around.  Sleepy baby.  And there she is, my dear with the deer.

 

 

I share this with you because I believe in signs.  I know some of you believe too.  I think when you trust, and believe, and live with an open heart and open mind and open eyes you will see the signs. 

Lisa Hoffman's blog is HERE. And ceramic artist Caroline Douglas's blog is HERE.  There is another deer/sign story that Caroline shared with Lisa that makes this gift even more cool.  It's amazing what we learn when we are willing to share our stories.

respite with the roses

 

  

Yesterday Susanna and I met for coffee.  I was telling her I would cut her some roses from my garden when she asked if I had been to the Rose Garden at a nearby park.  Hello?  No way, never heard of it.  She made a u-turn and off we went for a beautiful morning walk through the garden and down to the river.   I was so enamored with the new destination that I returned later in the afternoon with my camera and with Fallon who fancies herself a budding photographer. 

 

  

 

 

I can imagine how beautiful this garden is in May but the fine October day was perfect.  I will return often.  Susanna shared her favorite spot along the river and we sat for a moment.  The water was clear and moving so slowly - I could have stayed all day.  When I went back with Fallon I wanted to take her to the river but the gates were closed.  I looked out across the field where I had walked earlier that morning and blew a kiss, because it's where I found this: 

 

I told Shannon I was going to look for her everywhere.  When I asked her what her sign would be she claimed a four leaf clover.  I said that wasn't fair because I find them all the time - how would I know it was her?  Yesterday, I knew.

what are the odds?

Saturday I met friends in the city.  I've told you about Edie, an artist friend who lives in NYC.  And I've told you about Judy, an artist friend who lives in Australia.  Imagine how many apartments and hotel rooms there are in Manhattan.  Thousands, right?  So what are the odds that Judy was staying in the same apartment building as Edie?  Crazy!

  

What are the odds that I would find another "It" bag....in red?

  

What are the odds that in the wonderful heaps of metal findings and charms at Metaliferous Judy would find one "rock hands" charm?

  

And what are the odds that when you leave your camera on a restaurant table in New York City and the staff say they never saw it that a girl with a funny accent can get the manager to scarf it up?  Thanks for scoring my camera Judy.  And thanks for a fun day girls!

  

    

 

sock central....(edited)

it has been reported that the socks have arrived and will be presented this afternoon.  stay tuned...

 

EDIT:  rather than make a new post, I am editing this one because I want you to be able to click on "comments" and read the message left by Angie, one of our favorite nurses from 7B.   So yesterday afternoon I got to be a fly-on-the-wall (by way of a speaker phone) while Marietta, the nurse manager on 7B gathered two shifts of nurses and aides, therapists (OT and RT) and some other special people, including Shannon's doctor.  On the table were only *65* pairs of socks.  Marietta read the letter I had composed (see below).  Very cool to hear my words come through someone else's mouth.  At the key moment, the remaining 600-and-something socks were brought in as Marietta continued to explain the project.  Wonderful to hear that Angie was there, as well as other favorite caregivers.   For a few minutes yesterday there were people having thoughts about my sister.  For a few minutes, before the hustle and bustle of starting a shift (or leaving one), there were people who got the group wink, the thanks, the validation that the call they have answered is of great value, and that they matter. 

Did you feel it?  Did you feel that goosebump moment?  Wow!  We really did it.  *high five*  XOXO

 

*pink wink* posted

 

The final pink arrivals which include a pair knitted just for me:

  

Dear friends,

Who knew that my request, on July 29th, for collecting 65 pairs of pink socks would end with 700?  It isn't the end, it's only the beginning.  Several angels are at work on the other end as they are in on the surprise and are planning to make a celebration for the Pink Wink arrival.  You know I will keep you posted!  One of the last emails I got from my sister was in May when she wrote to me about the blog comments you left for her, sending your positive vibes.  She enjoyed all the well wishes and said they were definite day brighteners.  Imagine what she would say to this - 700 socks sent in her honor. 

I am without words to describe what this has meant to me.  I recognize that it was a loving effort to participate in this.  You shopped for socks, came home and packaged them, then went back out to post them.  Many envelopes were winks themselves - decorated with pink paint or ink and roses and x's & o's and hearts and flourishes and messages.  Some were filled with pink wrappings and ribbons.  Some came with beautiful cards or lovely gift offerings.  Others came in a plain envelope with a quick note and some were simply anonymous - no return address at all.  There were boxes containing more than a dozen pairs, and envelopes filled with a single pair.  Some socks were dropped off at my home and others were delivered from overseas.  No matter how the socks arrived I felt the love energy tucked inside.  I get it that by sending me socks you are offering your support and sympathy.  I get it that by sending socks you help me honor the memory of Shannon.  I get it that you can't imagine loss, or have experienced a loss of your own.  I get it that you love your sister, or your sibling, or your best-friend-who-is-practically-a-sister.  I get it that you may know someone with Cystic Fibrosis.  I get it that you are a caregiver, or know a caregiver, or believe that acknowledging caregivers is important.  I get it that it just feels good to join in something that is about sharing gratitude.  I get it that the impulse to be with me on this may have no specific definition.  I feel the love, and as I said before:  you make grief endurable. 

There is more to tell, more to share, and more to celebrate as the story continues to unfold.  For now, let me offer my humble thanks.   Posting the boxes felt good, although a little sad as it's been a daily task for me to attend to this project.  It began as an idea to pay-it-forward to my sister's caregivers and then it became bigger but offered a distraction to keep my mind occupied.  I reflect on the whole thing now and see that it was so comforting to share my grief.   By dividing it, it slowly diminishes. 

I know you are with me.  SHE is with me.  You have helped me say that she mattered.  I will never forget this.  NEVER.  Thank you.  THANK YOU.

xoxo, Michelle 

launch

I had to really pack them in and squish down so the covers would fit - 690 pairs!  *high fives* all around.  To my friends, to my neighbors, to my online buddies and acquaintances from near and far, and to those of I've never even exchanged a word with - written or spoken, THANK YOU.   I am finishing up the letter that will accompany each bin, then they are hitting the road.  The last few that came in....

The gathering of these socks has been such an experience.  There is a pink glow where there was once a dark hole.  I will continue to write about the winks and all the ripple effects....but now it's time to launch....to spread the love.

The kids started school today.  Amazing how they have grown (in August, Fallon turned 13 and Peter turned 18 - a senior!)  Amazing that the summer season is over (but not the hot weather!)  Amazing that we can be 3/4 of the way through the year and yet still feel like we can start anew.  A fresh start for the teachers, students, and parents.  New notebooks, fresh pencils, cool folders and cooler shoes.

I'm ready for something new.  I'm ready to look forward.  I'm ready to say farewell to these pink socks and let the love energy they are wrapped in be released.  Deep breath.....

shocking . . . hot . . . blush . . .

shell, coral, salmon, rose, cerise, fuchsia, flamingo, magenta, bubble gum, cotton candy, pepto....

Who knew there were this many shades of pink?  Who knew there were this many kinds of socks out there?  From Alaska to Florida and from Germany and New Zealand.  From good friends and from we-have-never-met-before friends.  Cozy, fuzzy, soft, long, short, thick, slick, subtle, sharp, loud, polka dots, stripes, flowers, sea horses, stars, hearts, words, paisley, argyle, and plain.  Here are the latest:

 

It's bittersweet to listen to but I'll save you the google:  click HERE to listen on youtube, and HERE is the backstory of the lyrics....scroll way down. 

I cannot wait to send these pink bins off to the U of M hospital.  I had to spill the secret to two people in order to have someone *on the inside* who could guide me through how to make this sock arrival happen.  You know I will keep you all posted.   My plan is to ship on September 3rd - the kids will go back to school that day so it is offically *launch date*.  I can't believe I am saying this but:  you can stop sending me socks.  If you have some and are ready to post then hurry!!  Luckily I have kept up with labeling them as they arrive.  Andrew was a darling and wrote offering to help as he thought I was buried in pink and therefore couldn't blog.   

Actually, I stepped away from the computer as we had visitors.  Graham's two sisters came from England - and we all had a great time! 

rockin' the socks!

 

Wow - they are still coming in and since I have word that more are on the way I will wager that we will reach 650 which means you have sent in TEN TIMES what I hoped to get.  If you haven't been keeping up you can scroll down through the recent posts or go here to see where this started.  Today's packages included piles of pink from two groups that collected the donations - HCIT?  I wish you could see my big-eyed-open-mouthed expression every time I pick up from the post office.  And then I wish you could see me get all misty-eyed-yet-grinning as I read all your sweet notes, and when I realize that some of the return addresses are not familiar to me.  Thank you for the sweet pink love.  You make grief endurable. 

sox in the city*

A huge pink scrap album (to chronicle the pink story!) arrived from JW in OZ with her pinks socks and the cutest story about being a girl dressed in black shopping for pink.  I'm with ya girl, pink is so not my thing either....but it has it's own meaning with this and I appreciate EVERYONE who has made the effort to shop for and send pink socks.  These arrived from Carrie on Friday but somehow missed the photo since they were propped up next to my computer as I checked the website for these clever things. 

 

The third pink bin is nearly full.  I'm off to Target for another as I have had messages from many of you that more socks are still en route.   I.AM.BLOWN.AWAY.and.humbled.and thrilled.THANK.YOU.

*i borrowed the post title sox in the city from my friend lisa.  isn't she clever? 

tickled PINK

I roll, tie, and label the socks every night while watching the Olympics.  I watch gymnastics and it gets me a little sad as my sister was a gymnast and she always enjoyed watching the event.  Then I see all the pinkness I am surrounded by, knowing it has all arrived from around the globe, and I am filled with a huge sense of PEACE.  Who knew that pink socks would make one feel so loved?  I am giddy thinking about what it will be like to see their arrival on 7B.  Thank you, Team Pink. 

.r.i.p.p.l.e. . . . .r.i.p.p.l.e. . .

Can you believe this?  It's just incredible!  I had no idea.  None.  Here's the thing....I would say at least 75% of the packages that have arrived are from new-to-me people.  HCIT?  How about that cute message on the envelope from Bonnie?  And those rosey messages from Inge, pinned through the socks for the nurses.  You all keep me going.  I am so feeling the love.

It has been a delight to read your notes and to get your messages both written and unwritten.  I'm stealing this line from my friend Linda....it blows my socks off.  Truly.  Thank you again.  I know I said August 15th for the due date but it will be at least another week after that until I send the boxes off so for those of you who have written - not to worry.   xoxo

...still...with...me...

This message, found on the envelope from my friend Sarah in England, was an A-HA moment for me.  It was so touching to see and to know that she, like many of you, are still with me.   It has never been more obvious than in the pinkness arriving daily to my home and my post office box.  But what I didn't realize until I saw that message, was that by launching this project, Shannon is still with me.  She's still with me. 

 

The mail staff must get a kick out of all the packages.  We are enjoying every minute of it.

I tend to buy two of everything.  Good thing I got two of these pink bins because this one is full!  THANK YOU to all who have sent in pink socks.  This totally ROCKS!!   We passed the goal of *65* days ago! 

I've been rolling up each pair and labeling with the name and location of each donation on a pink tag so each recipient will GET that this project is a global hug.  You can imagine I spazzed when Judy sent me these AND the stencils to make more. 

I am humbled and honored to be the hostess of something that has rippled wider than I could ever have imagined.  xoxo

and wider and wider and wider....

When I was twelve or so my friend Peggy and I, and a handful of neighborhood friends, staged a backyard carnival to raise money for Cystic Fibrosis.  Remember those kits you could send away for back in the 70s?  The Muscular Dystrophy Association and Jerry Lewis enlisted children to help make a difference.  We borrowed one of those kits and put our own spin on it and made it happen.  I clearly remember riding our bikes to the local businesses soliciting for freebies to offer as prizes.  We got keychains and pens from the bank, a ball and bat and glove from Ben Franklin, some bags of penny candy from the grocery store....I believe we raised something like $27 from the nickel and dime donations we collected for the games and fortune telling and face paintings.  We mailed all the loose change in an envelope to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.  A few weeks later we were sent a thank you letter and a dozen CF collar pins.  I WAS SURE THEY WOULD SOON FIND A CURE AFTER RECEIVING OUR ENORMOUS CONTRIBUTION.

Looking back now I think that event gave each participant a different perspective of HOPE.  My parents must have been touched that we thought about taking on the disease with the belief we could help.  My sister must have known we really loved her.  We carnival-throwing-kids were confident that our $$$ could be used for research for a cure.  But imagine what it must have been like at the CF Foundation office that morning when the mail arrived with a letter written by a 12 year old offering $27 in coins to present to the lab in hopes that a cure would be identified.   Imagine that.  There HAD to be a ripple effect don't you think?  And while a cure wasn't discovered in Shannon's lifetime there were alot of breakthroughs including the invention of the "vest" which not only allowed a CF patient to be independent in their daily bronchial drainage therapies, but it was developed by my sister's doctor, and she was a recipient of a prototype model.

All I can say is I never expected this.  I never anticipated that the sock request would get such an incredible response and I never saw it coming that there would be spin-off things occuring - like the sharing of stories.  Stories of loss, stories of health, stories of inspiration, motivation, encouragement.  The ripple effect is amazing.  The people I have heard from are amazing.  This whole thing is utterly amazing.  There are some things I will share with you but some things will just have to stay in my head and my heart. 

THANK YOU for winking at me.  THANK YOU for sharing your stories.  To begin...in my home mailbox were these, from a neighbor friend who I didn't know read my blog.... 

And then these from the post office box...........

And I'm off to pick up the mail at the post office today....then tune in on the Street Team blog where I'll be posting the next challenge later today.  It's only been two days of mail at my post office and we have already passed the 65 pairs goal.  And I can already feel the goodness that is being spread through the ripple effect that started last week.  There are still ten more days to go.  Wow!!!

xoxo