We spent Sunday looking at colleges. Lots to take in....not only the scenes, but the idea that our baby is going to college. We looked here, looked there. Drove, navigated, toured. Took photos. Sought vibes. While we were occupied with looking I also was busy seeing. I saw our vibrant, intense, smart, sensitive, beautiful girl visualizing herself on campus. Would it be this one or that one? Will I fit in? Is this where I want to focus my studies? A stroll down the sidewalks and I could imagine her waving from a dorm room, lugging a backpack or portfolio across the yard,....but I could also see her in pigtails, pulling a wagon filled with stuffed animals, trying to sell rocks to the neighbors.
What we look for is not always what we see. What we look at can be seen different ways, depending on our personal filters and influences. Often we can look at something we have seen many times, and observe it with new vision and perspective.
Take these leaves....one might have hoped to see some stunning autumn colors on the chilly October afternoon, and been disppointed that the rain had brought down mostly yellow and brown ones. You might have bustled along and missed the pretty heart-shaped leaf, juxaposed on the stone blocks. Looking closely, you see nature's beautiful palette...so subtle. The warm and cool tones in a lovely mix - they will inspire my own combinations and compositions.
Then you might have come across this sculpture of weathered stones on rusted pegs. Perhaps you would pause and observe, wondering how it was done, or worse...why. And while one person might be thinking 'that could use a power wash to remove the green stuff', another might consider how lovely it was to stumble upon the sculpture at that exact time and place to be able to appreciate how the green growth introduces another color to the mix, enhancing it rather than dimishing it. The organic shapes and speckled textures provide more inspiration.
The field trip to visit colleges with our daughter was beginning to make me feel empty, uncertain, and sad....I will work through those thoughts in my journal with new ideas, fresh perspective, and a desire to continue seeing the positives. A girl is growing up and moving on to find her way in the world. It's a good thing, even if I will wonder and worry, and be lonely for her. There is much to be proud of and much to celebrate. The leaves will change and fall...and stones may stand in our path, but we can navigate around them and over them, and forge new directions, if we see ourselves doing it.
